you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
