Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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