maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
When are your genitals available?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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