Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
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She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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