when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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