Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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