you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
