I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just pee around me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize