3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize