For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
