I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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