ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
