She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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