my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
