there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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