Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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