so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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