i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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