Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
