Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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