my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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