glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
