I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
