I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
