I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
