if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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