I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
