I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My vagina just recognized that song.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
