She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
