two words: eviction party
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woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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