I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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