I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
