I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
