She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
