Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
