chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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