Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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