Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
