I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Your cock deserves a montage
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
