my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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