I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
