This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
