A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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