You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
