Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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