Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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