The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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