Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
