Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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