these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
