so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Shame - the story of my life.
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