margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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