You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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