Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
