I think I died a long time ago.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
