The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize