Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
