i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
